It's always good to know the rules!
Rule #1
If you eat a cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and is therefore calorie free
Rule #2
If you drink a diet beverage after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet beverage cancels out the cookie calories
Rule #3
If a friend comes over while you're making cookies and needs to sample one fresh out of the oven, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free (see Rule #1), yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone, and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free also
Rule #4
Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass
Rule #5
Any calories consumed during the frosting of cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue
Rule #6
Cookies that are colored in red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three calories, and green cookies have five - one calorie for each letter. Make red and green ones at Christmastime, more red if watching your calorie intake. The red cookies at Valentine's Day, and green cookies at St. Patrick's Day will help balance the two month calorie intake out.
Rule #7
Cookies while eaten during a favorite movie have no calories because they are part of an entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel
Rule #8
As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage
Rule #9
Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will adhere to their plates only
Rule #10
Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes never have calories. It's the rule!
